Notes for Dublin commuters

1. If I’ve spent 15 minutes sitting in a queue of traffic, and you fly past us all in the bus lane until the part where the bus lane is blocked off and you need to get into my queue, don’t expect me to let you in. No, not even if you try to drive into the side of my car and beep me. No.

2. Yes, you on the motorcycle. It is very clever that you can ride past all the traffic like that. If you do that by riding on the wrong side of the road, please move in when I drive towards you.

3. Getting back to the car drivers. Overtaking that cyclist really could have waited until you’d got around the corner on that narrow piece of road with high trees, couldn’t it. You know, so that when I was coming round the corner in the opposite direction, not speeding, on my side of the road, I wouldn’t have had to brake suddenly to avoid hitting you.

4. Yellow box junctions. I may have had this rant before. Do not enter them unless there is space beyond them for you to move into. When said yellow box is at the bottom of a hill where there is a very sharp corner and cars turning that corner need to come on to the far side of the road to make the turn (which is why the yellow box junction is there), do not, and please, please pay attention here, do not drive into the yellow box. That little hold up, the one where you couldn’t reverse because the person behind you had followed you INTO THE YELLOW BOX TOO and I couldn’t reverse because someone else was following me up the hill and I couldn’t go forward because you were in the way IN THE YELLOW BOX was entirely caused by you.

5. To the three people I passed who’d been stopped by the Gardai for driving in the bus lanes: Ha Ha.