Clothes are the wrong shape

Last weekend, for a brief while, I would have said that I was the wrong shape, but that’s not correct, of course. I’m me, and I’m me shaped. How can that be wrong?

I’ve been dress shopping. Well, on my weekend day last week, anyway. (What? Weekends are two days long? I don’t believe you, sorry.)

There are no dresses that fit me, period. Ok, actually, that’s a tiny lie. There is one dress in the whole of Dublin that fits me, and one skirt and top combo. Trouble is, the dress isn’t right for the occasion and the skirt/top combo isn’t very nice.

I came home from the shops and measured myself, using size guides from the websites of two major retailers. According to the size guides, I am a 10-12 bottom and 8-10 top. (uk sizes). According to the clothes I tried on I’m an 8-10 bottom and an odd shape that doesn’t fit into any tops because my shoulders are too short and my boobs too small.

The thing is, I’m not a weird shape. I’m not tiny, I’m not big. I’m average looking. Perfectly normal.

I don’t understand what clothing sizes are doing. Is it to make people feel that they are smaller than they actually are? Is it just that I’m shaped differently to everyone else? Is it that all women with small boobs wear super padding? I suspect the first and last.

I think I need to start a campaign to make jeans and a black t-shirt acceptable wear on all occasions.