Archive for September, 2005

Brownie badges

Posted by on Sep 25 2005 | General Ramblings

So, I’m at the parental home at the moment, and I’m cleaning out yet more crap from my bedroom. This is the reason I’m currently wearing a home made tiara, but that’s a bit of an aside. Primarily it’s involved throwing away cassettes – Smash Hits ‘89, Kylie (By Kylie), Jason Donovan’s Ten Good Reasons (2 copies for some reason) etc etc. There’s also a few rare photos of me from the fat phase of my teenage years. I’m thinking of bringing at least one of the pictures back home with me as an incentive to keep off the pies.

Anyway, in amongst all the stuff I found my old brownie badges. There was a frog, for swimming; a cagelike thing, which I think was fire safety; a zebra crossing, for road safety; a red cross, for first aid (I cheated on the test and made the girl I was putting into the recovery position get there herself, don’t suffer a medical emergency around me, I’m no good) and then a saucepan, a broom, and a cup and saucer – it would appear that home-making was very much the focus of the brownies in the ’80’s. I have no idea what the current brownie badges involve, but I hope things have moved on somewhat.

I’ve kept the cup of tea one, it’s the only one I can quite safely say I am still deserving of.

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Lifestyle Solutions

Posted by on Sep 24 2005 | General Ramblings

So, I’m at home at the moment, which means that the Saturday Telegraph is there to be looked at. A catalogue came free with it – one of those innovations type ones – Easylife lifestyle solutions.
Here’s a selection of the products.

Dog bark control collar – to control your dog’s barking in just 3 weeks.
Briquette maker – recycle old newspapers into free heat
Super mini ear – micro sized hearing amplifier
Knee relief – support and relief for the weak-kneed
Nordic slippers – warm feet for everyone!
Bath grab bar – get in and out of the bath with ease
Bunion corrector – correct bunions while you sleep

Now, mixed in with these, so you wouldn’t notice them, not in a seperate section for the over 40’s only, are:
Natura-viga – enhance sexual performance, vigour and vitality
Vigel – Girls, enhance your sexual experience!
Sex for the over 40’s videos – can making love get better with age? – It’s true!
Breast lifts (8 pairs) – Perky bustline you had when you were young
Vacum pump – Stronger/larger erections

I’m disturbed. It’s going to take me a while to get over this.

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Crazy lady on the bus

Posted by on Sep 22 2005 | General Ramblings

..and it’s not me for once.

She sits down next to me. With her headphones on.
I’m sat there, ignoring her.

Crazy lady: “Have you ever seen a cheatah?”
Teaandcakes: “no, have you?” (Damn, shouldn’t have asked back, stupid work habits)
CL: “yes”

A few seconds pass. I look out of the window.

CL: “Fastest animal in the world, they say”
T: “Hmm, so I’ve heard. What do you think?” (Dammit! Shut up shut up shut up)
CL: “Oh, I wouldn’t know, I’m not one”

A few more seconds pass. I look down at my bag.
Perhaps I should have got my book out, but it was only
a short journey.

CL: “I wouldn’t like to be a cheatah.”
T: “No, neither would I” (I’m learning at this point, I stopped myself from asking why not)
CL: “I like being a human”
T: “Me too.”

Crazy lady gets off bus.
Teaandcakes wonders about the world.

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Visited countries

Posted by on Sep 20 2005 | Travel

I’ve a lot more to see..

create your own visited countries map

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Almost forgot

Posted by on Sep 19 2005 | General Ramblings

Shiver me timbers ye lily-livered scallywags, I’ll be making ye walk the plank.
“Pieces of eight”
Shut up polly.

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