Tea and Cakes

Last night, at the home of Teaandcakes (aka The Gin Lady) and The Gurrier.

I walk into the lounge and spot this picture on The Gurrier’s laptop waiting to be blogged:

“What the fuck is that?” I ask.

The Gurrier laughs. “It’s on our patio, you should know.”

It looks like frogspawn but that’s usually laid around water, we’re on the first floor and there aren’t any frogs around here. I know that frogspawn is out.

My brain goes straight for the next most rational possibility.

It’s a spider nest. Some new breed of spiders have started laying eggs in weird gloopy jelly and one day I’ll step outside and a swarm of spiders will be all over me.

That’s it.

I’m never going near the patio again. In fact, the curtains will remain shut.

“What is it?” I ask again.

The Gurrier laughs at me and tries to pull me towards the window. “Go outside and look.”

Look? Go outside? Nope. Absolutely no chance. I’ll pull open the curtains and they’ll have started hatching and be waiting for me, fangs dripping.

“What is it? Please just tell me.” I’m getting desperate now, almost begging.

The Gurrier can barely stand, he’s laughing so hard at me and my obvious terror at the gelatinous substance inhabiting one of our window boxes.

He explains what it is and I almost cry with relief.

“It’s not spider babies then?”

He doubles over with laughter again.

Sigh.

(Turns out I did know what it is. In an effort to deal with my plant killing abilities we got some water holding crystals to mix into the soil ages ago, and the box slipped at that point, so there are too many crystals there, and it rained heavily the other day.)