Tea and Cakes

OK, so I’ll admit it in writing: I like watching big brother. I like watching people, always have, so watching a load of attention seeking people locked up in a fishbowl togetherbeing made to perform a series of tasks for the amusement of the braying public much like performing monkeys, is, well, something that appeals to me.
I’m not going to go into any sort of description of the programme etc, save this - I wanted Eugene to win and I didn’t believe Anthony when he said he wouldn’t have taken the money.
For those not familar with this years contestants, read what Charlie Brooker had to say about them. He’s much better than me.

Anyway, I was flicking through the tellybox earlier, before giving in and having a bath instead, and I caught some of a “What they’ve been doing since they were evicted show”. I don’t think we’ll be hearing from any of them soon. My reasoning:
Mary: Would like to be an actress. When her publicity person asked her what experience she had she stated that she’s met Neil Jordan. Said publicity person then set her up a meeting with an agent, who said of himself “We never turn any possibility down”. The discerning agent then. He sees Mary as “The next mystic meg”. From the look on her face I think she was hoping for the next kate winslet.
Sam: Her goal is to set up a female lads mag, with pictures of semi naked blokes in it. Cosmopolitan, Company et al must have passed her by. And the whole “ladette” culture explosion. Wish I knew how she missed it, would have been a useful talent. She also claims to have been a feminist all her life. One who spends most of her time in high heels and a bikini and had a boob job. Right.
Lesley: Lesley wants to be a singer. We watched her cut a demo. My word, that was one talented sound engineer. I predit a brief chart sucess with the single, then it’s on to the cruise boats and off the telly.
Maxwell and Saskia: We didn’t see either of these guys with a publicist - I’m guessing that neither of them has any talents to attract the attentions of a publicist. Well, apart from Saskia’s obvious ones, but Maxwell didn’t like the idea of her getting them out, and it’s not clear if she’s told him that she already did. Anyway, we saw Maxwell meeting Saskia’s family for the first time in the local pub. He walks in, shouting “What, no round of applause”, to deathly silence. It’s all covered up and everyone’s soon drunk and happy, Maxwell and Saskia (who looked like she’s been punched in both eyes with turquoise eyeshadow) singing along on the kareoke machine to Kylie and Jason’s duet. Lets just hope they break up before they breed.